That’s it I need a wig! A blonde wig! I hate getting older! It sucks! As a 34 year old mother of two you can appreciate my resentment to the way mother blinking nature is treating me! Yes I agree – I like to party! I live a wild life. But jeez I deserve better! To think of how attractive I used to be from the age of eighteen to literally 2 months before my last pregnancy. Yup that’s depressing! Having babies physically changes you! You know you are in a worrying situation when you wake up after a night out and start finding clumps of hair on your pillow. You avoid using that ghastly beaming creation of narcissus to check on your looks. Yes that’s right shower first before looking into that illuminated bathroom mirror. Don’t look…don’t be self typified as the ‘new age drag queen’, the oxymoron of sexual status. Believe it or not looking horrendous is actually easy than you think! I take a shower and “oh look” the plughole is now a spidery furry mess of human hair – attractive I know!
I really need to sort myself out. It’s beyond a joke. I look down and amazingly enough a huge mole has taken over my previously luscious thigh – I mean ‘jeez’ where the hell did that come from? They say moles take year to develop but this beast seems to have gnawed its way into my curvaceous elevens like a giant flesh eating gnat.
That’s it! I’m getting glamorous again! I’m not even going to bother dyeing my hair, I’m getting the sexiest blonde wig and I’m gonna look lush! Then I’m going to the doctor, I’m getting these gnarly moles checked out once and for all and then I’m gonna put together a list of recommended mole removal clinics. My skin will be perfect again!
Maybe I should really figure out which of my current lifestyle choices are attributing to my hair-loss and general lack of lustre. Jeez I hope it’s not cancer! That’s no lifestyle choice of mine! You read so many scary stories relating to hmmm hair-loss and raised moles which if placed in a mathematical Ven diagram can only equal one thing….which reminds me – I must give Doug a shout at Mesothelioma Hindsight…he knows of a load of good info relating to Cancer! Sure he’ll be able to provide some resources that would put my mind at rest on either side of the coin